So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
I got inside last night via doggy door
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
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