Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night.
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
Randomize
