I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
Just watched a guy get through airport security with a full bottle of captain morgan. In my head the entire airport cheered.
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
I legit had a 15 minute convo about dinosaurs with a guy at the bar last night cuz he was wearing a jurassic park shirt
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
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