I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
should my penis look like a turkey
This is a mass text: my birthday is tomorrow, and I want a full day of birthday sex. Send me your availabities. Time slots begin at noon
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
I literally have anal toys soaking in the bathroom sink and dinner on the stove. If that doesn't scream "domestic goddess", I don't know what the fuck does.
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
Randomize
