you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
Got promoted and on my way out the door was informed that my beard makes my face perfect for riding. Today is gonna be a good day.
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
Randomize
