Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
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