We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
mom just found 19 empty wine bottles in my closet. i hate spring cleaning
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
life lesson #151: dont let people go batshit crazy and stab you in the knee
i will live by this rule
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
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