Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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I just woke up in bed, rolled over, and found a whole pizza.
this is the second day in a row.
Oh. Yeah. It's the same pizza then.
50% drunk capacity currently
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
All of my friends are talking about changing their lives because they have an alcohol addiction and I'm over here reminding my boss that it's national beer day.
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
This Cougar is looking at me like I’m a piece of meat and buying me top shelf cocktails
I’m getting a fear boner thinking about what she might do to me
Randomize
