Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
What should've been a 10 minute beer run turned into her having a 40 minute mental breakdown in my car while in the parking lot. She then asked if she could live at my house and be my girlfriend. Her finishing act was stealing my peanut m&m's.
Well, when a girl introduces herself as "stormy" and gets your number from her boyfriends phone, I'd say that your situation is to be expected.
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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