About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
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