That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
I just got carded by a ten year old.
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
Aaaaaaand, there's the title of my second book. "One Dick. Six Angles."
Well thank god i want six autographed copies
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
Randomize
