I think I won the penis lottery.
Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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