New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
Explain it like you would if you were talking to a 5 yo
Wait no, like you would to a stoned high school freshman.
Like, what's the customary waiting period to hookup with your newly single ex that you never stopped hooking up with?
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
Randomize
