Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
you're the only person I know who would bring a water bottle of screwdriver to a wedding, and toast with it during the speech
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
I have sent texts to the pizza delivery guy telling him he was beautiful. Oh and you almost got a ticket for pissing in public. And I smell like cheese.
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
Randomize
