My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
You are a genius and a whore.
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
Randomize
