She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
I said:" get your jacket, get your beer and get the fuck out of here"
Firing someone with a rhyme is the new high point in my life.
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
Randomize
