Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
he asked me if i "normally slept like that" because i was curled up in a ball facing the wall. then he told me that i woke up in the middle of the night and said "oh my god. i forgot you were here." how did he not understand that i didn't want him in my bed.
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar
We are all done wearing pants today
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
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