apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
Randomize
