Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
So some guy at the party is convinced I'm Edward Cullen. He keeps calling me "Twilight" and following me around with a stake. I'm concerned.
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
Randomize
