So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
Life Lesson Number 76: Masturbating into a sock is useless if there is a hole in it.
Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
She got mad when I told her I'd bone her mom. She got MORE mad when her mom heard, and was flattered by it. Proud to say I attract MILFS.
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
Going to the ER, I'll explain later but apparently drunk me isn't allergic to peanut butter.
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
Randomize
