Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
Randomize
