id be glad to
wanna go halves on a baby?
Stephanie. Problem. I think if I had met Murphy before Ben I would have fucked him instead.
Don't worry about your Murphy feelings. I may have fucked him no matter what.
so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
Randomize
