All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
dude it's 9am and i'm still drunk it's too early for sexting
You're not who I thought you were. You've changed.
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
Randomize
