Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
So I've only had a mustache for about 5 minutes and I'm already pretty sure it's the best decision I've ever made.
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
Hey douche face I just want you to know, if you ever got hit by a bus, I'd really miss you.
Only if you died obviously.
I got inside last night via doggy door
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
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