Turns out I'm like the Wayne Gretzky of hiding cum. Who knew?
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
I shouldn't be home alone with this much peanut butter and the dog. I feel like i'm being recorded to see when my desperation will peak.
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
Randomize
