i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards?
or abortion recommendation cards.
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
My mom just told me to drench my entire body in vodka for 20 minutes. I have never been this russian. no one has ever been this russian
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
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