And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
Today's forecast: A sex tornado warning has been issued in your area. Counties affected include your bed, your shower, or your couch. This warning is in effect until further notice. Signs of a sex tornado include: your girlfriend coming up with a huge analogy to inform you that she's ungodly horny today.
Just cause I'm shitfaced wasted every night waking up in random beds all over Manhattan does not mean I'm a mess.
Truth. Respect the hustle.
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
Randomize
