Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
He was running late for work this morning, so I helped him out by finding a matching pair of black socks. And I hated it. So I'm currently drinking and reminding myself of the reasons I will never get married.
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
just got back. in my inebriated state i broke an ugly lamp and was sent to the store (still drunk) to get a new one. just spent last half hour in isle 3 of dollar general surounded by more ugly lamps and trying not to throw up on each and every single one.
Randomize
