Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
I miss vodka workout Fridays
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
I told the hostess, two bouncers and a manager i was roofied and made them smell my beer. Turns out I just picked up some stupid bitches CHERRY WHEAT beer by mistake. I insisted they replace my lost beer.
Literally everyone in the bar was absolutely hammered out of their minds. I swear I even saw the bartender swigging jd when he thought no one was looking. And there was me thinking Britain was the booziest nation in the world.
Welcome to America. You're gonna love it.
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
I was so drunk I asked my mom if she had always been my mom or if it was someone else for a while
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
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