Dude! wtf happend last nite? I woke up with 2 black eyes and a head ache
You stepped off the curb and face planted the road...twice
Why didnt you hold me up....and why a second time?
I helped you up but figured it was wayy funnier to watch you fall again then lose my buzz....
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
You had the genius idea to tape beer to the celing fan. There goes his security deposit. He is gonna be fuckin pissed.
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
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