Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
You know that hot fire fighter I fucked yesterday? Well him and two other guys are killing the fire on my stove. Awkward.
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
You bought champagne and told everyone it was because I'd just found out I was pregnant. How exactly is that being a good wingman?
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
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