Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
Randomize