I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
My entire life is one complicated drinking game
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
The best part is every argument that she makes from here on out will be refuted by "Oh hey remember that time you shit yourself wearing someone else's sweatpants at a frat party?"
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
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