Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
We were drunk having sex and I knocked over her bedside table/fish bowl and she jumped off to check if her fish was still alive but she made me pasta so it's cool
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
Randomize
