You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
Randomize
