yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
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