How was your Memorial Day?
Don't remember... but I do have an American flag painted on my boob signed by a Staff Sargent... Oh God, I hope that's his military rank and not a nick name.
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
mom and dad are asleep. time to fish my half-full bottle of wine out from under my bed and give this christmas visit a pick-me-up.
"half-full" seems a little optimistic for the turn your night is taking.
Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch.
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
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