Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
Randomize