i'm signing you up for texting rehab
i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
bhystjhitsjhtiajielrfrhaug
This is sufficient.
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
You've picked up chicks by quoting metal bands
When they're drunk they believe it's Shakespeare...enjoy the simple things
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
Randomize
