isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
I just need a text that says "put that food down bitch" and then maybe I'll lose water weight through tears
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
You may now shotgun with the bride
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
Randomize
