god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
i shit you not. the flight is delayed because they have to change fucking light bulb. all the airport bars are closed and my shit is in checked luggage.
Randomize
