yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
getting your period on valentines day is like an extra little fuck you, now you REALLY have no chance of sex tonight.
He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
my nose is crying tears of wow.
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
Randomize
