she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
new low: my hungover self just mistook bacon grease for mashed potatoes. worst. mistake. ever.
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
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