i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
dude, i think i am in a porno. I was working out at the hotel gym and some chick was doing yoga and a guy comes up and says "good, now i know your flexible" then they started making out. WTF?
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
Randomize
