i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
Can you bring me the toilet please
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
Randomize
