i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
two words: eviction party
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
Just wore the promise ring dad gave me freshman year of high school as a fake wedding band while I bought a pregnancy test. I think it's safe to say that's not what he had in mind with that gift 14 years ago.
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
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