Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
I just inadvertently flirted with my coworker's 20-year old son. I've known him since he was 14, yet suddenly he looked different.
You are nothing if not reliable.
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
At least you didn't get an invite in the mail to your fuck buddy's baby shower like I just did. My life is a sitcom
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
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