Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
i just wanna skin you and wear you like last years versace.
you may have the big hair, fake nails, and talk with a fake accent, but you will NEVER be a housewife from new jersey so STOP TRYING.
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
I'm confused about why you felt the need to ask me to buy you life alert for christmas at 3:28 this morning.
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
Tell me I'm the only person you know who could punch someone at the bar, get escorted out, smoke a cig with the cop who almost arrested me AND get the security guy who escorted me out to buy me drinks.
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
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