Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
got in a fight at the bar because some dude thought i was being sarcastic when i told him "sweet mustache". it really was a sweet mustache
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
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