yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
just served this dwarf dude an entire pitcher of malt liquor. watching this will totally be worth my bartender's certification.
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
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