i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
Just got hit on by a 50 year old Englishman who is now swapping drunken racing stories with my mom. Live Mariachi band in the background. How's that for a wake?
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
Randomize