i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
3pm strippers are depressing
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
Apparently it's illegal to hit pedestrians with coke cans... But the cop complimented my arm. That's a win in my book.
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
Randomize
