she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
Dude I'm drinking a martini out of a water bottle, I've become my parents.
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
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