Taylor Swift is so right about you.
So I went on a date with this girl...and whos our waitress? My girlfriend got a second job she didn't tell me about to afford my bday present.
I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
i think i have two assholes
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
Randomize
