Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
She keeps comparing me to her favorite dildo and I don’t know if I’m flattered or creeped out
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
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