Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
Randomize
