so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
vagina is talking i cant
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
Randomize
