My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
Randomize
