I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
my fart just smelled so bad i acutally gagged
just because you are now my girlfriend does not mean you can text me nasty shit
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
It's like... Even my horoscope knows I had an awkward threesome last night.
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
Randomize