I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
Apparently I'm ahead in the foot race to his dick because I'm not insane. If I'd have known that's all it took, I'd have worn sweat pants more often.
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
if happy hour never ends, you’ll never have to eat kale
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
Randomize
