she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
I feel like a drive thru vagina
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
Randomize