btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze.
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
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