do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
Turns out I hooked up with a chick who has lupus. I don't know if that's a bucket list thing or not, but it's now on mine. Check.
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
Randomize
