Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
Hey I have your shoes. Do you remember shouting "Police brutality!" when the bouncer was kicking you out last night?
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
