So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
Hey it's Austin.
I am not drunk enough for this conversation.
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
Randomize
