Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
I think I sprained my soul last night
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
The lady at target couldn't scan my grocery item and just looked at me and said "just take it. I hate this fucking place". Best munchie adventure yet.
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
sex in a hospital.. check
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
Randomize
