I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
Literally the only reason we didnt get arrested was because the cop said I reminded him of Steve Stifler from American Pie
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
That isn't the worst part. It got a bazillion times more awkward when he read me a poem he wrote about his dead cat.
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
Randomize
